Sentence Fixes

These are my fixes

Research Paper Progress

1. My research topic is on embryo engineering and why some consider it to be immoral and unethical while others see it as beneficial.

Sources
1) Humans Have a Right To Be Born Without Genetic Manipulation. This article touches on the subject of a human's right to be free of genetic manipulation. It also mentions the damage to social justice caused by engineered embryos.

2) DON'T TRY TO ENGINEER HUMAN EMBRYOS. This article mostly deals with the social issues that would develop by embryo engineering, especially those regarding socioeconomic status. It also lightly touches the health problems that would be faced by engineered embryos.

3). Benefits of Human Genetic Engineering. This website mentions the benefits of embryo engineering. It provides examples of how embryo engineering could possibly get rid of diseases through a process called "gene therapy".

4). Genetically Enhancing Children Violates Humans Rights. This focuses on the negatives of embryo engineering those including; the dangers of embryo gene manipulation and the right to be free from genetic manipulation.

5). The Case against Perfection by Michael J. Sandel. The book;s main question is "What aspects of human freedom or human flourishing do they threaten?" The chapters then outline different aspects of embryo engineering and its effects.

Bibliography 

Anti-gay

I don't agree with much of it, but here it is. 

Complaint

I happily come to orchestra during third period four times a week, sit in my seat with my violin on my lap, and watch Mr. Riendeau conduct. I play the same pieces we have played since the beginning of the semester: Serenata Espanola, Overture to Lucio Silla, Simple Song, Pascaglia, and Divertimento K.12. I play these pieces that have been mastered by stand partner and me since a long time ago. I love coming to orchestra and leading my section of nine people, 6 who are newcomers or freshmen. What I dislike is coming to orchestra and playing my music successfully, while the rest of my section does not. Four years of being in orchestra has taught me a lot, but a practice still makes a difference. I wish Mr. Riendeau would stop getting angry at my stand partner and me, because we try hard to make up for the lack of practice in our section. It is a horrible feeling to know that the orchestra is being held down by my section.  As a senior, I know what it is like to be in the position of all the people in my section. I am certain that they don’t practice on a regular basis, because I didn’t either. I hope I could make Mr. Riendeau understand that it is not my stand’s faults. The lack of practice leads to insecurity and to the inability to play the pieces. Perhaps I should let my section and Mr. Riendeau know how I feel one of these days. I dislike being the blame for the lack of practice of ALL the people in my section. I do my part by leading as best as I can and my section should do their part by practicing. 

Definition

link to my essay

Senior Project #2

My senior project is on one of my greatest hobbies, baking. I have had doubts on the topic in the last few days and am considering changing it. The fact that I have no incentive to do anything on the baking topic so early into the project makes me wonder how the project is going to be successful later on. My alternative project is to help animals in shelters find homes. It saddens me when people buy animals instead of adopting one of the countless animals looking for a home at the local shelter.
 I have mentors in mind for both projects, all is needed is for me to make a decision on whether I want to continue with the Baking topic of pursue the animals.

Drugs

Every human has the right to do whatever he/she please with their body and life. A person can become a drug addict if they wish. If drugs were to be legalized, guidance should be provided to those who wish to take these  controlled substances. Much like pre-abortion counseling, drug counseling or educational courses could be provided if drugs were to be legalized. Like what Vidal stated in his passage "Drugs", a person can make the choice to pursue drugs, provided that they don't interfere with the lives of others. 
     Unfortunately, drugs are known for their various negative effects on those who consume them. Among those are addiction and other factors that affect both the person consuming the drugs and their neighboring people. For example, a few months ago the media was flooded with the saddening story of a homeless man that was attacked by a man highly on drugs. The attack, which was cannibalistic, was greatly correlated to the fact that the attacker was intoxicated with drugs (warning graphic). There have been many cases in which drugs are one of main reasons on why these tragedies occur, but it is unfair to say that drugs are the only reason why they occur. The ability these powerful drugs have to change people's mentality so dramatically in a short amount of time should be kept under control.
      Legalizing drugs could have some benefits, but it is impossible to predict what would happen if they were legalized. If drugs are to legalized, people should be thoroughly informed on their effects (both short-term and long-term). After all, every human has the right to do whatever they wish with their body.

Benjamin Banneker against slavery

my ICE

Interesting Blog Finding

As I was looking through countless amounts of blogs, I ran into a running blog that seemed interesting. This blog is perfect for those who love to run, competitively or for fun. This blog is written by Pete Larson a man who describes himself as “a 30-something dad, teacher, and slightly obsessive runner.” His blog displays his personal records as well as provides articles that will help other runners. There is a post archive in which readers can easily find articles or posts that will help them find answers to their running problems. The blog also advertises various types of running shows on the margins of the blog. There are reviews on many popular running shoes (both by the author and the readers), that help their fellow running mates find the perfect shoe. This blog is setup in a way in which everything can be found with ease.

Research paper topic

1.       My research topic is Embryo Engineering

2.      What is controversial about this topic is that many people consider it to be morally incorrect while others believe that it is a beneficial procedure.

3.      I will be using the internet, the library, and other scientific resources to conduct my research.

4.      I want to major in engineering, that being chemical or biochemical, and I would like to explore the different types of engineering through this. I am also interested in the controversy because of the different of opinions people have regarding it, and the information they use to back up their statements.

5.      I will look for resources in places which others will not, and try and make my paper as unique as possible.

6.      I have no questions as of now.

Cupcakes

          

When comparing the righteous cupcake and the traditional cake some people may ask, “Why not just make a regular cake?”

Why would someone not want cupcakes? They’re fun, affordable, adorable, and can be decorated in any way desired! They can stuffed with inner goodies, be made to look like an octopus or cow, and be stacked on top of each other to imitate the boring traditional cake.

Many people don’t know that cupcakes have existed for a long time, long before brownies, long before many of today’s fancy pastries. Cupcakes have existed for as long as cakes have, but the invention of the pans necessary to mold these cup-sized-cakes have made cupcakes flourish and become a vital part of American life. These bite-sized treats range from homemade delights to cupcakes that look like pieces of art. Cupcakes can be seen in different varieties as follows:

                                                          The Homemade Cupcake

               Modern-day technology has definitely made it easier for people to bake cupcakes whenever they desire. The oven, the refrigerator, and other appliances have made it easy for the inner baker in people to come out, and in most cases make cupcakes. The homemade cupcake is usually lopsided, overcooked, under cooked  or not as appealing as something you would buy at Sift, but they hold a tremendous amount of love and taste.  Baking cupcakes at home has become a way to unite families; as a child, baking was always one of my favorite things to do. Sometimes, baking a batch of cupcakes for a loved one’s birthday is a much better gift than something you can find at an over-priced store. Whether they’re straight out of a box mix from your local Walmart or from scratch, homemade cupcakes are can brighten any person’s day. Homemade cupcakes are appreciated by all; sometimes the time that is put into these miniature goodies is underestimated.  

                                                        The Fancy Cupcake

Photo credit

      Cupcakes have become a huge part of modern-day society. Cupcakes are now replacing cakes even in the most traditional events, such as in weddings! Many people are now using “cupcake cakes” instead of the traditional wedding cake or in other occasions,.  Cupcakes are decorated incalculably to look like works of art which can be safely consumed. Pastry stores are now dedicated to cupcakes, and only cupcakes. Most of the time, Cupcakes found at these “Cupcakeries” are the most extravagant baked goods you can purchase. One of the greatest upsides to these fancy cupcakes is that you can calm your cravings for the most extravagant cake without having to spend money on an entire cake (even hundreds of dollars). All the flavor and richness is packed into these compact pastries, which in most cases cost no more than $5.00 at cupcakeries or bakeries. There are now books portraying colorful pictures of intricate cupcakes. Regardless of all the decorations these desserts have, many of these fancy cupcakes are only the traditional “One cup of butter, two cups of sugar, three cups of flour, four eggs, one cup of milk, and one spoonful of soda” disguised as fancy pieces of art. (All About Cupcakes)

Photo credit

Girl Essay

Link to my essay, after a long journey.

I want a husband

I want a husband that will provide financial support for our children. I want a husband that will care for the children with me when they are ill. I want a husband that will aware of future doctor’s and dentist appointments the children will have. I want a husband that will attend recitals, games, and other activities the children have. I want a husband that will read to the children before bedtime, even if my husband comes home late from work.  I want my husband to take a motherly role with the children. I want a husband that will make the children exercise. I want a husband that will encourage the family to be active in the community.

                I want a husband that will not limit my shopping addiction. I want a husband that will enjoy going shopping with me. I want a husband that will give me feedback on the clothing I have recently bought, rather than criticize it. I want my husband to buy my husband’s own clothes. I want a husband that will help in picking out the children’s clothing.

                I want a husband that will help me with making diner. I want a husband that is a good cook. I want a husband that will do my husband’s own laundry. I want a husband that will make the beds, clean the table, and do the dishes. I want a husband that won’t sit on the couch after getting home from work and expect me to become a maid. I want a husband that will share the finances with me. I want a husband that won’t feel superior to me if my husband earns more money. I want a husband that won’t feel inferior to me if my husband earns less money.

                I want a husband that will watch “chick flicks” with me whenever I please, and enjoy it. I want a husband that cuddles with me on a rainy day. I want a husband that isn’t afraid to cry or tell me my husband’s problems. I want a husband that will listen to my problems. I want a husband that will want to be heard, and not store problems in my husband’s heart. I want a husband that won’t change after marriage. One can only wish for a husband.

Swing Dancing essay

My essay is here. 

Writing Suggestion #2

The practice of embalming and restoration should be abolished or should only be allowable if people are consulted before the practice is performed. It is inhumane to allow someone to mutilate a dead person’s body and rearrange it to please an audience, especially when the person having the procedures done on has no say over it. A mouth is sown with a “needle directed upward between the upper lip and gum and brought out through the left nostril” creates a more pleasant facial expression, describes the way in which a cadaver is treated to please those that will attend the funeral service in Milton’s Behind the Formaldehyde Curtain. The passage of Milton’s book successfully portrays the evils behind embalming and corpse restoration. Embalming should only be legal if a person gives their consent, while alive, for this American practice to take place. It is cruel to automatically assume that every family desires to have embalmment fulfilled on their deceased loved one, especially with the cost of the procedure being so high.  People should be educated on what really goes on behind the restoration process before they make the choice for their departed one.  Once the embalmer begins to “restore” what is to be underground for many decades to come, the natural death of the deceased person is no longer what it was meant to be. Embalmment should only be performed in extreme cases, in which a corpse is no longer recognizable. Nevertheless, it is up to the person to decide what should be done with their body rather than a mortician or family member make the choice. 

Compare and Contrast Essay

Link to my essay

Books and Lives

Link to my essay 

The Human Cost of an Illiterate Society

The Human Cost of an Illiterate Society structure
In the passage by Jonathan Kozol, the author supports in part his thesis through the structure of the passage. The arguments made by the author are followed by specific yet short examples of how illiterate people suffer, even in daily activity. Most paragraphs begin with the word "illiterate" and the proceed to provide examples that demonstrate situations which are to the illiterate person's disadvantage. Each paragraph is begun with a short sentence that explains a disadvantage illiterates hold, and then the setrnces become substantially longer and more informative.

The structure portrays the author's opinions and examples provided. For example, when Kozol mentioned the incident in which an illiterate Detroit woman brought home a gallon of Crisco for her children he idea long sentence structure to appeal to the reader, "She had enough Crisco now to last a year- but no more to go back and buy the food for dinner (22)." Throughout the passage, sentence structure such as the one used in the Detroit woman's case is used by Kozol. Although the use of long syntax is evident throughout the passage, the author also uses staccato-like styntax to have a more frantic effect when revealing a fact to the reader.
Paragraph lenght varies greatly from paragraph to paragraph throughout the piece, hut every paragraph has the same effect on the reader. The author provides many real life examples from people that suffer from illiteracy, the examples support the point the author is making in the previous sentences. His use of example such as; "the hardest thing about is that I've been places where I didn't know where I was. You don't know where you are... You're lost" and "I tried it one day reading from the pictures. Donny looked at me. He said 'Mommy thats not right'", are strategically placed in order to appeal to the reader. The author idea formal diction to convey the disadvantage illiterates' face, even in ordinary days. His use of formal diction is more effective in making his point clear rather than using informal diction.
The overall lenght of the passage is short, but to the point. The passage is loaded with examples that portray all the negatives about illiteracy in the United States.  Jonathan Kozol uses a simple structure that successfully displays the illiteracy that a percentage of American citizens struggle with during their lives. Each paragraph presents a new struggle, and each struggle is supported by a person that suffers from illiteracy.

Running

Here is the link to my Narrative :)

Greasy Lake

Enlly Bugarin

AP English Lang

Mrs. Guerard

September 7, 2012

Greasy Lake

Greasy lake is a funny story about three nineteen-year-old boys enjoying their third day of summer,  they see themselves as rebels. The narrator describes these “dangerous characters”, Digby and Jeff, in a serious tone. Nevertheless, his description of these “bad characters” makes the reader think the total opposite of bad; “Digby wore a gold star in his right ear and allowed his father to pay his tuition at Cornell,” and “Jeff was thinking of quitting school to become a painter/musician/headshop proprietor.” The narrator refers to Digby as a dangerous character, but then he proceeds to say that he will be attending Cornell, an Ivy League, completely discrediting his previous description. T.C Boyle then starts off describing Jeff’s decision to quit school, but this decision to quit school is not for any radical reason such as going into drugs or just out of pure laziness. On the contrary, I found it was hilarious when the narrator described Jeff’s decision to drop out of school, to become a painter or musician, as a decision that a “dangerous character” would make.

The narrator’s descriptions in the two paragraphs of the essay are meant to portray the boys as carefree. Instead, his descriptions have an opposite effect of what he desires. “We drank gin and grape juice, Tango, thunderbird, and Bali Hai,” the narrator carefully names all the “hardcore beverages”  they were consuming with the motive to make themselves look “badass”, when in reality they are all cheap liquor. After Boyle’s descriptions of the mock-worthy activity conducted by the “dangerous characters”, the story takes a serious turn when the incident at Greasy Lake begins to take place.  “Whatever it was we were looking for. We weren’t about to find it as Greasy Lake. Not that night”, this foreshadows the event that the boys later experience at the Lake as well as change the tone of the story.

The fight scene is serious and at the same time comical. I could imagine the greasy character that the boys had molested taking action against their joke. The narrator’s description of the fight is very vivid. Building off of the description earlier provided by Boyle, I am not surprised by the “fighting skills” held by the boys. For example, Digby’s skills in martial arts, which he attained through completing a course for physical education, were no match for the greasy character’s uneducated punches.  “Digby poked the flat of his hand in the bad character’s face..”  and “Jeff was on the guy’s back, biting at his ears.”

The scenes that prorceed seem somewhat rushed and unexplainable. Like the dead corpse that is found by one of the boys. Overall, the story has a good plot. It is casual and comical at the same time, and it portrays the ignorance of the boys who considered themselves “bad”.

Brownies!

The amazing Brownie

Brownies, “special” or not, are the most amazing pieces of baked goods that exist on Earth. These chocolate indulging squares, rectangles, circles, or whatever shape of goodness they chose to hold can bring joy to anyone.  Their flaky and toasty surface, crunchy bottom, and smooth center will captivate the taste buds of any sane person.  When you bite into this pleasant pastry it is like the whole world doesn’t matter; only the brownie does.  Any chocolate lover can spoil their senses with these chocolaty existences.  My love for brownies is increased when the square, rectangle, or circle of goodness is loaded with chocolate chunks. My passion for brownies often goes to extremes.

My personal record is eating more than seventeen brownies within a two-hour time span; I devoured them after a successful cross country race at the Sac-Joaquin Sub-section meet in which our team qualified for the Sac-Joaquin Section Championships. I am known for my obsession with brownies, and other sweets, by my fellow cross country teammates. Coach Ruegg decided to make these scrumptious beings my motivation to run faster races and my motivation to work much harder at practice. Occasionally he will hold negative feelings against my morbid consumption of brownies, especially when it influences my running performance.  I know obsession with brownies can lead to me becoming overweight or obese. It is an extremely painful act when I have to limit my consumption of brownies.

Brownies are the perfect companion for ice cream or just about anything. They make the perfect daytime snack or a delicious yet simple dessert after dinner. I always find myself pairing brownies with a different dish, even when the two combined don’t appeal to the common person. After races I munch down on brownies while most of my teammates gag at the thought of eating anything.  

One of my major hobbies is baking, especially brownies. I experiment and try to better the taste of my brownies every time I bake them. Sometimes I add nuts, chocolate sauce, or bake them at different temperatures. It is difficult to better the taste of something that is already perfect, but I find my ways. Brownies are an inspiration for me, not the special ones though; the clean version of this scrumptious dessert is all that is needed to better my day.

I enjoy baking for others; I believe it promotes happiness and pleases the occasional craving that we have. Brownies are a huge part of my life, and influence many of my actions. To most, brownies are seen as an occasional treat, but to me brownies are my main dietary supplement.  I always find myself baking brownies, it doesn’t matter if it’s one-hundred degrees outside or if it’s pouring rain, they always bring joy to me. 

Descriptive Essay

Link to my essay

Mrs. Watter observation

-She sits quietly on her old stool
-her hand used as a support to her chin
-Smiles to herself in a psychotic manner as she enjoys her novel
-occasionally scans the room filled with traumatized students writing an essay and chuckles.
-runs fingers through hair
-randomly nods in agreement to what she just read.
-red scarf adds color to her dark outfit, and to the gloomy morning
-as student approches, Mrs. Watter judges the appropriateness of the outfit worn
-remains motionless for a few minutes, consumed by her reading
-"So how do we feel, great, huh?" I'm looking forward to reading them," she says, the she nods with her mouth semi-open, "ye-yeah"
-sarcasm throughout being observed.

Box Man: Debrief

1). Something that I learned

Something that I learned during the class discussion was that the Box Man is happy with the simplicity of his life when compared to the other examples in the story

2). Something I wished we would have discussed
I wished we would have discussed the author's background more, so we could have understood the short story better.

3). Something I wish we would have said

Something that I wished I would have said during the discussion is that the story is not from the Box Man’s point of view, so we cannot be entirely sure the Box Man is content with his situation. All the evidence around his story suggests that he is happy but we cannot be sure. The author can manipulate the story to make it seem like so.

I am a ____

I am a beaner essay

Long Form

Dumbing us down Long Form

#seniorproject

My senior project is on baking and cake decoration. My passion for baking began when I was a little girl and I owned my first "Easy Bake" oven, ever since then I bake for pure entertainment. I love baking for others, especially my family and friends. I plan to having various bake sales featuring new recipes I’ve learned or created and donate the profit to local shelter and my engineering club SHPE Jr. Chapter (Society of Hispanic Professional Engineers). Nevertheless I have been having doubts about my choice. My love for animals is too great that I might make a change once the school year begins and focus on helping animals find a home. My plan is to promote animal adoption, rather than purchases, and create an adoption event to help animals “in search of a bff”. 

Enlly B.

Hi my name is Enlly Bug and I was born on April 21, 1995. I am the youngest child out of three; I am two years younger than my sister and four years younger than my brother. I’ve lived in N*p* since my seventh grade year and I am surprised that hasn’t changed. I have lived in nine different cities throughout my life. When I was seven years old I moved to the United States, from Mexico, along with my mother and siblings. Learning a new language was extremely difficult and the constant moving from city to city didn’t help. For example, I attended three different elementary schools in three different cities during my 5^th grade year.  I relate my shyness to the constant moving and how it developed throughout those years. I am a very shy around people I don’t usually interact with, but once I become comfortable with someone the real me is revealed. I am extremely picky when it comes to food, with zucchini and pickles being my worst enemies. Baking is one of my favorite hobbies, I like to indulge my family and friends to a delicious treat. I’m an animal lover at heart and I pamper my shih-tzu all the time. As a child my dream job was to be a veterinary but as I grew that has changed. I play the violin in the NHS Orchestra, which the few people that know about orchestra refer to it as “band”. I am musically ignorant when it comes to knowing about the latest big artist.  I am on the cross country team and I have a love-hate relationship with the act of running.  I find myself being influenced by many of my peers, most of the time positively. I constantly try to challenge myself by taking the hardest classes even if I am not the best at the subject. Trying new things isn’t a hard task, unless it is extremely out of the ordinary; I’m not afraid to try new things.  I always find myself procrastinating, but after a few all-nighters due to procrastination I try and make myself do my school work on time. Science is my favorite subject area, especially chemistry, I hope to become a chemical engineer someday. I become easily distracted; one minor thing will take away my attention from something of lager importance.  I consider myself another average high school student.  Sometimes I think I am invisible to others. At times I feel like I am a solitary person, I can be surrounded by many but I feel empty. I become extremely attached to people who I really trust and I am afraid of losing them. I don’t have difficulty making friends, but the act doesn’t come with ease. Pleasing others is my objective, although most of the time it results in me not being satisfied.  I find myself comparing myself to other people repetitively, yet this is a bad habit because everyone is unique. Speaking in front of large groups terrorizes me, and the fear does not get better with practice. I hope this year will help me get over my fears. 

www.facebook.com/enllybugarin

https://picasaweb.google.com/110378166397847292123/August132012#5776386394428379938

https://picasaweb.google.com/110378166397847292123/August13201202#5776386788661659522